Things I Wish I'd Done Differently

Although we're no longer home schooling, I have been thinking about the things I would've done differently. The statement that hindsight is 20/20 is often true, so I'm hoping that by sharing some of the pitfalls we've faced related to home schooling and integration into the private school spectrum our hindsight can be helpful to some of you out there.

#1: I wish I had made sure my children got to play with their friends more often.

Friendships are so important to children during all phases of childhood. I always downplayed the socialization aspect of home schooling, insisting that our children were well-rounded individuals because of the wide array of socialization avenues in which they participated: our immediate family; our extended family; our church 'family'; and a (very) few select friends. But in reality, our children were lonely. They longed for and needed more time with children their ages, peers with whom they could relate, bond, and learn to get along with, as well as to learn to stand up for themselves, to choose friends wisely, and to practice dealing with peer-related issues.

While church activities provided regular opportunities for them to be with larger groups of their peers, they found it difficult to 'fit in' even with this 'select' group of supposedly 'safe' children. (Note: There is no such thing, I think, as 'safe' influences. Our son experienced bullying even at our church....)

Having been in a private Christian school since January, they have had daily exposure to other children--some of whom are like them in many ways; some of whom are cruel and awful and worldly. While our daughter has developed a tight bond with a girl at school, she is having to learn the hard way that other kids aren't always good influences. (One particular girl has led our daughter astray a few times.) Which leads me to another regret... (See #2.)

Our son has had a more difficult time finding a kindred spirit in his class. He is a really smart kid, not the athletic type at all, and very innocent to the ways of the world--which was one of our goals in home schooling. As a result, he has stood out like the proverbial sore thumb this semester, and it has been difficult for him. One really wonderful thing about our son, however, is that he knows who he is, and while he hates the way he is treated at school, he values his identity.

#2: I wish we had prepared our children better for making wise choices, not following the crowd, but doing what's right even if it's unpopular.

While I felt that we covered this topic on many occasions, apparently we were not thorough enough. (Can one ever be thorough enough where this topic is concerned?)

#3: I wish we had prepared our children better where the ways of the world are concerned.

Keeping our children innocent was a worthy goal. This world in which we live is ugly and awful on so many levels, and we wanted to protect our children from those horrors at least through their elementary years. But having put them in institutional school as we've done, was a bit like throwing them to the wolves--even in a Christian school.

I am convinced the very best environment for our children to learn about things like sex, homosexuality, abortion, racism, drug use/abuse, etc., is at home with Mom and Dad. They also need to learn the slang terms that are prevalent in popular culture, which means that we, as parents, may need to be more aware of what's going on in pop culture! It's certainly not an easy task, but what is easy about raising kids in today's world?

#4: Finally, I wish I had been a better role model for my children.

This topic encompasses every aspect of life: self-discipline; self-motivation; purity of heart; devotion to God and to others; honor; respect for self; respect for others; respect for authorities and elders; respect for personal and public property; and the list goes on.

In actuality, the transition from home schooling to private school has been relatively smooth. I believe better preparation would have helped our children to make this adjustment more easily, but they have been troopers and I am very proud of them.

In the final analysis, nothing is perfect. Home schooling isn't perfect, and private and public schools certainly aren't perfect. Life is indeed the classroom in which our children learn and grow and mature. The one unchanging facet of life, in whatever realm we find ourselves, is our God. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and it is upon Him that we must depend. That is the greatest lesson we can teach our children, and one that must be taught on a continual basis. God loves them. He watches over them. He has a purpose for them. He is the Rock upon which they must stand all the days of their life--wherever life may take them.

Sex Education

Last year, as we learned that our nieces and nephews in public school were already being introduced to sex education, we decided we had better "get with the program!" So we did our homework and came up with a couple of resources we found to be very helpful in broaching this sometimes difficult subject.

For our son, who was almost 11 at the time, we purchased Dr. James Dobson's book Preparing for Adolescence. We instructed our son to read through one chapter at a time, then he and his dad discussed each one's contents. This method was very effective in helping to prepare him not only for the imminent changes to his body, but to inform him about emotional changes as well. (An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure!)

For our daughter, almost 8 at that time, we purchased American Girl's The Care & Keeping of You: The Body Book for Girls. This was an excellent book for our daughter, which we read through together, chapter by chapter. (I did not complete the book with her however. Because of her maturity level, I did not feel she was quite ready to learn about menstruation last year. We will pick up where we left off in the not-too-distant future, I'm sure....)

Neither my husband nor I had much guidance going into adolescence. We wanted our children to be better prepared--especially in this crazy world! These books were just what we needed to introduce this difficult topic to our children, while also opening up a dialogue that has continued as circumstances have presented themselves. "They" say that if you can keep the doors of communication open with your children, the adolescent years will go much smoother. We have told our children there is nothing they can't tell us.... We are praying that God will prepare our hearts to receive whatever they may share with us in the future with His wisdom, understanding, and compassion.

In the meantime, we are sleeping a little easier knowing we were the ones to introduce them to the topic of sex, as well as to begin preparing them for the monumental changes that lie ahead for them.

Childhood Depression

One of the many reasons we chose to home school was to spare our children some of the more serious affects and influences associated with being in an institutional school environment. Bullying, peer pressure, drug use, worldy views, inappropriate sexual behavior--all these things can crowd in on a child to causing them adverse feelings, often leading to depression. But just because we have protected our children from those issues does not mean they will automatically be immune to depression.

Statistics given by the National Mental Health Association's National Council for Community Behavioral Healthcare show that "As many as one in every thirty-three children and one in eight adolescents may have depression." Further, "Once a child experiences an episode of depression, he or she is at risk of having another episode within the next five years."

Even though we don't have the same issues in our schools, there are many other factors that can cause childhood and adolescent depression. In fact, because we home school, because our children are 'set apart' from their peers at church and in the community, we have a unique set of circumstances that could contribute to those same feelings of despair and sadness.

We hope and pray it will never happen to us, but for the sake of our children, we should at the very least familiarize ourselves with the symptoms of childhood depression. It never hurts to be prepared!

Nothing to Prove

Regardless of how long we've been home schooling, it seems there is always a dark cloud of expectation hanging over our heads. Our children are expected to excell beyond that of institutionally schooled students. Our children are expected to be as involved as possible in social activities, because everyone knows they aren't exposed to social situations often enough (!). We are, at times, questioned, grilled, or otherwise measured by how well our children read or how quickly they can calculate a mathematical problem in their head. Because we educate our children at home we are somehow suspect--as if we would allow our children to piddle away their studies in pursuit of video games and cartoons.

In the wake of such suspicions or questions it is easy to respond defensively or to run down the list of academics our prize students are acing. We rattle off their activities and punctuate their achievements. We emphasize their strengths and down-play their weaknesses. All of which can take an enormous amount of energy.

I read something interesting recently, however, that has been rolling around in my head. It was a short article about how Jesus never defended Himself. He never explained His motives or His reasons for what He did or the choices He made. He left His actions to speak for themselves, knowing in the end, some would see Him for who He was and some would not. I like that! Because no matter how hard you try to convince the skeptics, they will remain skeptical as long as they choose to do so. And in the end, it won't make any difference about the education my children receive. I'm still going to be the best teacher for them I can be. I'm still going to desire the best education for them and do what I can to achieve that result.

Those who support us will continue to support us because they see the results in our children and in our family. Those who doubt, question, and worry will probably continue to do so as well. The only thing that changes by my choosing not to defend our home school is my stress level. And anything I can do to decrease that makes for a great day!

So from now on, I plan to let the results speak for themselves. If it was good enough for Jesus, it's good enough for me! :-)

December Daze

We all know that school is different during the month of December. Whether it's public, private, or home school, this month is just different. Rather than try to force the proverbial square peg into the Christmas tree shaped hole, I have learned to adjust our schedule, our curriculum, and even our work load.

For instance, this December, instead of working through the history curriculum week by laborious week, we are putting it on hold until after the new year. Instead, for reading, we are choosing from a delectable variety of Christmas stories accumulated over the years. We started reading Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol yesterday, and while the language is a bit challenging for our students, I found they are still able to keep up with the story. (Plus I have a feeling it will stretch their vocabulary and their minds as we go!)

Additionally, this is the perfect time to give them a break from some of their more tedious work (such as outlining, cursive, etc.) and allow them to participate in some charitable causes. For example, we started a tradition a few years ago of taking gifts to the children who have been removed from their homes (for whatever reason) and are residing in the state shelter. This has proven to be a very rewarding exercise, and is a wonderful opportunity to show Christ's love to those who are in less than desirable circumstances at such a critical time of the year. This year, our students will assemble gift tags for each gift, complete with a Scripture that reflects the true meaning of Christmas.

Some other activities our students participate in are:

Project Angel Tree

Adopt-A-Family (through our church)

A Season of Sharing, Share the Light (the musical production also at our church)

All these activities serve to teach our children in a real and personal way about the world around them. It gives them an opportunity to give back from what they possess, and it reminds them what Christmas is really all about. If that's not a good education, I don't know what is!

Posted by The Teacher at 03:32 PM

Organizing for Christmas

A couple of years ago I started a Christmas tradition of my very own--and it has become one of my favorites! It's a Christmas notebook. Because there are so many activities, events, things to do, etc., this has become an invaluable tool, plus, once the season is over it becomes a wonderful record of that year's Christmas!

It's really very simple. I take a three-ring, inch-and-a-half binder, create section dividers on festive Christmas stationery, and begin making my lists, filling in my calendar, etc. I use clear sheet protectors for those items won't fit any other way.

Some of the sections I include are:

Calendar & Events

Gift Lists

Christmas Letter & Card List

Craft Ideas & Recipes

Holiday Memories

This year I even added a list of possible projects to do for school.

Of course one of the beautiful things about this idea is that you can tailor it to fit you, your schedule, and your family perfectly!

It sure makes checking my list twice all the easier! ;-)

Posted by The Teacher at 03:12 PM

Making it Fun Through Poetry

We engaged in a little silliness this week, using our imaginations and what we know about poetry.... The assignment was to write a poem using a real word that is difficult to rhyme, making up silly words to complete the task wherever necessary. Following were the results:

Rhymes with Orange By Zach

Tell me now, what rhymes with orange?
All this thinking is just simply borange.
Saying "hellorange" to you is not "how do you do";
But orange is still a nice word, think you?

Broccoli
By Jenna

I hate broccoli.
It is so snoccoli.
It looks like a froccoli.
It is so roccoli.
I hate broccoli.

See what creativity abounds when you think outside the box?! These works got an "A" from this teacher.

Carpe Diem!

Opportunity. It is everywhere everyday. The opportunity to encourage. The opportunity to set an example. The opportunity to bring significance to what might otherwise seem insignficant. The opportunity to see God in the ordinary.

That's what we have, first as Christians, and second as home schoolers.

Opportunity is everywhere when we are willing to see it. It is in the quiet moments before the kids rise in the morning (see below: Psalm 46:10). It is in the difficult moments (I Peter 1:6,7), the happy moments (Philippians 4:4), the despairing moments (Lamentations 3:32).... God's grace is all around us, and He has given us unlimited opportunities to teach our children about Him as we go through our day, as we deal with the difficulties, as we enjoy the blessings.

My prayer today is that we don't miss even one opportunity to reveal God's love or grace or mercy to our children. Seize the moment! Seize the day!

Carpe diem!

"Teach me your way, O LORD , and I will walk in your truth; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name." Psalm 86:11

--------------------
Psalm 46:10
"Be still, and know that I am God..."

1 Peter 1:6,7
"In this you greatly rejoice, though now for a little while you may have had to suffer grief in all kinds of trials. These have come so that your faith--of greater worth than gold, which perishes even though refined by fire--may be proved genuine and may result in praise, glory and honor when Jesus Christ is revealed."

Philippians 4:4
"Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!"

Lamentations 3:32
"Though He brings grief, He will show compassion,
so great is his unfailing love."

Juggling!

No, this is not a new extracurricular activity in our household! The juggling I'm referring to is that of all the numerous things we home school moms have to keep up with. Not only do we have to plan our children's studies, direct their studies, and assess their work, we have to shuttle them to and from piano lessons and karate lessons and choir rehearsals. That's on top of all the other things we, as wives and mothers have to manage, like: laundry, grocery buying, house cleaning, bill-paying (for some). And let's not forget that our children still want fun, quality time with us, and our husbands, well, they want their share of us too! Then if we're lucky--and really good at juggling--we can have a social life as well: time with friends and extended family members is important too.

The cherry on top (for me at least) would be some quiet time alone or lunch with a friend--which is almost unheard of these days!

Though it sounds like I'm complaining, I'm not, really. I guess what I'm trying to accomplish here is a validation process that what we (as home school moms) do is substantial! While we most always answer "no" when asked do we work, (meaning, do we work at an outside a job where we get to wear nice clothes, be around grown-ups all day, and get a paycheck for it), no, in all honesty we don't work in that sense. But we do work! And very hard, at that.

At least, at the end of the day, when there's more work to be done than there is time to get it done in, we can (hopefully) look into the sweet faces of our children and know that, while we may not be finding a cure for cancer or advising the President of the United States, we are shaping the lives of some pretty important people. And who knows, someday maybe they will find a cure for cancer or be the President of the United States!

No, what we're devoting our lives to is not an insignificant thing. Ours is a worthwhile "profession" if ever there was one!

So next time you feel a bit overwhelmed by all the "balls" you have to juggle, try looking into the eyes of your children and see what really matters most. (Excuse me while I go take my own advice...!)

Evaluate, Evaluate, Evaluate!

Every now and then I come to a place of what can only be referred to as "floundering." I begin to question if what I'm doing with my children (in regard to home schooling) is the right thing. Am I doing this right? Does what I do every day matter at all? Am I blowing it with my children?

As a result of this floundering I become discouraged, unmotivated, and hyper-critical of myself. I begin to worry and fret.

Over the years as I've encountered this phenomena repeatedly I have discovered the best response to this floundering is to focus. Instead of feeding the list of questions that only fuel doubt, I focus instead on the questions that bring my mind and heart back to the foundational truths (for our family) that led us to home school in the first place:

Why do we home school?

What are the goals we're working toward?

Are we meeting those goals?

Where do we have gaps? And how do we begin to fill them in?

The difference between the first set of questions and the second is significant. The first set focuses on how I'm feeling based on an emotional reaction to the stresses of home schooling. The second set of questions puts aside the feelings, for the moment, and brings clarity to the facts.

The first set fuels my insecurities. It reverberates with all the doubts of my detractors, those well-meaning people who are convinced the only effective educational system is institutional schooling. It waters the seeds of dissatisfaction and despair that lurk like weeds among the golden harvest of my goals.

The second set of questions brings me back to the priorities. Like the magnifying glass through which the sun's brilliant rays penetrate to set ablaze the dried leaves of dailyness, drudgery, and discontent, these questions bring things back into perspective.

The first set of questions castigates. The second set of questions evaluates. Castigation only leads to feelings of failure, while evaluation puts things in perspective, motivating me to get back on track to meet the prescribed goals.

One is ineffectual, the other productive.

If you're like me and the daillyness of home schooling gets you down occasionally, take a step back and do a little evaluation. Then set your eyes on the goal and finish the race strong!

Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with endurance the race that is set before us..." Romans 12:1 (NASB)

Posted by The Teacher at 09:18 AM

Our Civil War Study

Yesterday was a busy day! We did a lot of reading and attempted to get back on track. It was difficult, as I suspected, but went well, considering.

We're still in the thick of our Civil War study. The things we're learning are fascinating! I knew this would be a great topic. The kids started on their Civil War notebooks (i.e. research reports). They have until December 12th to complete them. To round out my own study of the period I am reading Harriet Beecher Stowe's Uncle Tom's Cabin.

One of the things we discussed was "the power of the pen" in relation to shaping or turning public opinion--as in the case of Uncle Tom's Cabin. Because of this book more people (especially in the north) were informed about the treatment of slaves and it increased their sympathy for them--as well as their hatred of slavery. For both our children it was an example of what one person can accomplish. For our daughter, the impact was heightened because the author of this particular book was a woman--long before women were recognized as having great minds!

In an effort to teach our son to think for himself, and not be swayed by the "power of the pen", we have given him the task of analyzing current events from a national newspaper. Our encouragement to him is to not merely believe everything he reads, but to be on the lookout for bias and to search for the facts. This has turned out to be quite a challenge for him--and for my husband and me as we attempt to guide him in this process.

Also, to supplement our study, we watched Gone With The Wind, one of our all-time favorite movies! As we have studied the Civil War, Zach and Jenna have overwhelmingly favored the Union over the Confederacy. Our hope was that in seeing the war from the perspective of the south in this movie they would gain a little clearer view from the Confederate standpoint--even though much of the movie is far from factual.

As our web site declares: teaching at home is a learning experience.... We are all learning as we tackle these topics. But I can't think about that today.... I'll think about that tomorrow... ;-)

Scrapbooking to Learn

Check out Heart of Wisdom's Scrapbooking to Learn pages.... We completed a scrapbooking project the other day on Psalm 139:23, 24. The kids had a great time (as did I!), and those verses will forever be written on our hearts in a special way.

Search me, O God, and know my heart; Try me and know my anxious thoughts; And see if there be any hurtful way in me, And lead me in the everlasting way.

Psalm 139:23, 24

Keeping the Love of Learning Alive

I was talking with a friend today, a fellow home school mom, about how to keep the love of learning alive in our children.

God created each one of us with a love of learning--a sense of awe and wonder, and a natural curiosity. But somewhere along the line, between phonics worksheets and math drills and two-page book reports, doubled-spaced, with careful attention to spelling, capitalization, punctuation, grammar, and composition--our children are not only losing the love of learning, they're learning to loathe it. The sense of awe and wonder is replaced by complaining and whining. The natural curiosity is suffocated under piles of assignments. There are certain non-negotiables--skills that have to be learned--even in home schooling. So how do we teach them the things they need to know without driving the love of learning from them?

I'm certain I don't have all the answers, but every once in a while I get a glimpse of something that might help in this area....

For instance, there's delight directed learning. One conference speaker told of how she taught her son, an avid baseball fan, the basics of math using of all things, a baseball game. Her advice was to find what your children love, then use that topic to teach them certain skills.

Another helpful hint comes in the form of giving them choices. Take book reports for example. The rationale behind having a student write a book report is to be verify he or she can clearly communicate the main ideas of a story through the written word. Suppose that instead of writing a book report for every book read, the child is occasionally given the options of giving an oral book report (note: public speaking is also a valid skill to learn), creating a diorama, making a poster, designing a scrapbook-type page, acting out the story, or reporting the story as a journalist would--complete with microphone or newspaper layout. As long as they are demonstrating their written skills on occasion, where is the harm in allowing them to use their interests--art, journalism, acting, etc.--to inject some fun into school?

I have dabbled with the Charlotte Mason method of home schooling for a couple of years now, and though I've never completely grasped the whole of her philosophy, I keep coming back to it. In so many ways it just makes sense.

Sally Clarkson of Wholeheart Ministries is one of my favorite home school mentors. In one conference she led, she stated that home schooling is about three things:

Redeeming life

Building a heritage

Inspiring a life for Christ

In order to aspire to these heights, it seems to me that the love of learning must be kept alive. As Sally further stated, "When you secure the heart of your child, your child will love what you love." In order to secure the heart of your child, you must first touch the heart of your child--something that math drills and spelling tests and traditional phonics lessons will never help you achieve.

I'm not "there" yet... I'm still working out this thing called home schooling. I'm just glad there are people like Sally Clarkson, Jean Fleming, and Barb Shelton out there leading home school moms like me down this difficult path. And I'm also thankful for fellow home school moms to talk to on days like today.

Posted by The Teacher at 09:44 PM

Secrets of Teaching

Below are some of my notes from a workshop at the Texas Home School Convention, 1998. The speaker was a woman by the name of Joyce Herzog. I hope these notes encourage you as much as they still encourage me!

Secrets of Teaching

1. Every fall, every teacher starts with 2-3 weeks of review before beginning new topics.

2. Realize some months are better than others. December and the last month of school are the worst months for teaching. Be creative. Focus on charity, stewardship, birth of Christ, crafts, cooking, etc.

3. Set a schedule that works for you. Realize 9 months on, 3 months off was established so the kids could help in the fields....

4. Even the "experts" try and fail, try and fail. Don't be intimidated by the experts. If you encounter a plateau or a learning problem, make a list of ways to get past it: Change gears, change subjects, change learning methods, take a break, try more/different creative ways of teaching.

5. Realize textbooks and workbooks are the least effective methods of teaching!

6. Kids learn best by doing:

draw

color

build

dramatize

etc.

7. Teach them what you want them to learn using things they enjoy. (e.g. using baseball to teach math, etc.)

8. Learning takes time to assimilate. Don't introduce a new topic every day. Give them "down time" to assimilate the information. ("Down time" = mindless play/entertainment.)

9. Use children's books for research. Progression of research. (With each deeper level, zero in on points to research more in-depth.):

Picture books

Juvenile books

Jr. high books

Adult books

11. Teach kids where/how to find answers and information.

12. The "One Paper" rule: one paper per subject per week per child. This paper can be done orally, written, through art, photography, game, etc.

13. Don't put your child in a 'grade' box.

14. Is your goal to finish the text or to teach the child? Be a mother hen raising her chicks, not a poultry keeper.

15. The school year ends when you decide....

16. For those "the natives are restless" days, take a break, do a picnic or something that takes less concentration.

17. Regarding atmosphere: No one can learn in an atmosphere of:

Anticipation

Anxiety

Tension

Fear

Depression

Hunger

Extreme hot or cold

18. Make the atmosphere of your school comfortable, relaxed and enjoyable.

19. Remember who determined what should be taught in schools, how, and when: secular humanist publishers. Use your head, not someone else’s. Use common sense.

20. When you've had one of those days, take a step back, win your children back. Have fun. Mend the broken places in your relationship(s).

Record-Keeping

I have a very simple system for keeping records. Of course it helps tremendously that the state of Oklahoma does not have strict requirements on home schoolers. But it's wise to keep complete, accurate records regardless of the restrictions. (In other words, always go the extra mile in record-keeping, just in case....)

I have four basic areas of record-keeping:

Attendance (We are required to complete 180 days of school each term.)

Daily Checklist, showing what subjects we covered for the day (One month fits nicely on a sheet.)

Curriculum Planner (This is the detailed lesson plans that came with the curriculum. I mark each subject each day with a check mark as the assignments/studies are completed. Also, any additional subjects or assignments with which we supplement the curriculum can be listed at the bottom of the page.)

Comprehensive notebook file of each student's work (This is categorized by subject and it contains all the work each student completes for the year.)

Finally, just last year we began testing our children with basic standardized tests--partly for our own benefit, to evaluate what they learned over the course of the year, where their strengths lie, and where we might have gaps in our studies. Secondly, this kind of testing not only prepares them for future testing (such as the SAT), but it gives us an additional record that would satisfy those who might challenge our home school.

Legally, I have been informed that if an authority comes to the door asking questions about your home school, all you need show them is the attendance record. Beyond that they need a court order to examine your school. Also, the standard warning is to not let anyone investigating your school inside your home without a court order.

For legal protection, it is advisable to join the Home School Legal Defense Association. For a minimal fee of $100 per year you are guanateed legal representation specific to home school law suits. The added benefit is the legal information they provide regarding each state's home school statutes. The likelihood of a law suit is miniscule, but it doesn't hurt to have this kind of insurance just in case.

Record-keeping doesn't have to be a major headache. Keep your system simple and keep up with it on a daily basis. At the end of the year you'll have everything you need to support your home school legally, plus you will be amazed at how much you and your children actually accomplished!

Posted by The Teacher at 08:20 AM

Speaking of Silliness...

My daughter is silliness incarnate. No matter where we are or what we're doing, there is usually a grin spread wide across her face and we know a giggle is not far behind. Her mind is always working, naturally searching for the silliness in every situation.

Because of this, we have always freely acknowledged that Jenna loves life. There is little that can squelch her joyfulness on any given day--short of a lack of sleep or being scolded or disciplined! Those events will send her silliness packing, leaving a stark silence, a stoic wall where the giggles once ruled. (It's not pretty!)

But, that's our Jenna. Full of laughter. Full of humor. Full of life. No matter what the emotion, it's usually a strong one when it comes to her!

It's because of this intense emotion--whether the emotion of silliness or stoic silence--that we must guide Jenna with both sensitivity and consistency. It never fails that just at the crescendo of a story we're reading aloud, or in the most crucial element of a lesson, Jenna will interject some silliness. While she has learned that this action will always lead to some sort of discipline, she is not in the least deterred--at least at this stage of her youth. The goal is to calmly identify the behavior, implement immediate discipline (making sure the punishment fits the crime, so-to-speak!), then continue with the lesson. There will always be time later on to laugh about whatever it was she interjected, but there and then is neither the time nor the place! I am also quick to instruct Zach not to encourage her by laughing with her or at her--which is usually not a problem. It's Dad we have to watch out for in this respect! (Hmmm.... Could that be where she inherited her silly gene...?)

Anyway, as time goes on, as we deal sensitively and consistently with Jenna's silliness, I hope and pray she will learn the difference between appropriate and inappropriate moments during which to share her silliness. I often tell her how happy I am she is such a joyful child, but I am also quick to remind her there are times when it is just not the right choice to make. And I have no doubt that someday she will be a woman who brings much joy to those in her sphere of influence with well-timed silliness!

Note: Sometimes it's in everyone's best interest during our study time to take a "silliness break." A short round of Follow the Leader or seeing who can make the silliest face or some-such diversion does wonders for getting some of the excessive silliness out of our systems. Then we're able to move on to our more serious subjects in a more serious manner.

Share the Load!

One of the first things my husband was told before we started homeschooling was this: If you can't help your wife with the household chores, then hire her a maid!

Well, my husband, as wonderful as he is, is not one to scrub toilets, so for the first few years, as we were able, he hired a maid occassionally to help with the household cleaning. It was a wonderful thing while it lasted!--and even though I felt "guilty" for having someone else clean my home, I knew I needed the help. (I also justified it by convincing myself I was actually helping our national economy by putting people to work!) :-)

But, as time went on, I discovered that it was getting harder and harder to find good help that would clean things the way they needed to be cleaned. So many maid services start off strong, but after they've worked for you a while they get in a hurry to finish the job so they can call it a day. Or, they will send out their "A Team" the first couple of times, then once you become a regular customer they start sending their second string--or worse....

So up until last winter I used a maid service twice a month--until I just couldn't stand it any more! But you know what I realized? I had two very capable, able-bodied students who could learn to help out around the house! :-) So, I went to work teaching them to vacuum, dust, and clean their bathroom. They also learned to sort laundry and to fold it, hang it, and put it away. And they also learned to load and unload the dishwasher, wash down the kitchen table, and sweep and mop the tile floors. Additionally, during the spring, summer, and fall, they take turns watering the flowers in the front and back yard. (All this came in very handy this past summer when I had surgery and was laid-up for several weeks! They were a huge help to my husband while I was recuperating!)

To make it easier on everyone and to cut down on arguments, I made up a weekly job chart listing the jobs that were to be done each day and I assigned either a "1" or a "2" to each chore. Then, at the bottom of the chart, I assigned the "1" and the "2" to certain weeks of the month (ranging from 1-4), alternating the numbers so they didn't have the same chores each week.

Because I was saving so much money by not paying a maid service, and because I was giving them so much work to do each week, we doubled their weekly allowance. While they were not too thrilled with the workload, they were very excited about having their allowance doubled! However, we told them that if they did not complete their chores as directed, not only would they have to do the job(s) again, but they would lose that doubled portion of their allowance for that week. (That also applied in the event of whining, complaining, arguing, etc. about these household chores.)

The added bonus to it all was that since they were actually learning important skills they would use later in life, I was able to write this down in their school record book as "life skills"....

One of the things I had to remember when checking over their work the first few times, is that they are young and this is all new to them. They will get better with time, and they will always be able to carry these skills with them when they leave home. Also, if I am careful to encourage and compliment a whole lot more than I critique, their attitude will be better toward the work itself. (They might even gain a sense of accomplishment and importance, knowing they are helping me so much!)

While they don't clean things perfectly, they have become tremendous helpers! I don't know what I'd do without them!

"In all labor there is profit"
Proverbs 14:23

Start the Day Right...

One of the things I've learned about homeschooling over these past few years is to start each day out right. For me, that means several things:

Get up by 7:00 a.m. (at least!)

Shower before breakfast (when possible!)

Have "quiet time" before school

Throw a load of clothes in the washer before school

Be ready for school on time (which is 9:00 a.m. for us)

Begin each school session with a devotion and prayer

This year one of the new things I've started, since the kids are getting older, is that I let each of them lead us in devotion once a week. So on Tuesday Zach leads us in devotion, and on Thursday Jenna takes a turn. This accomplishes several things... First, I don't have to have devotions prepared on those days. Second, by allowing them to lead, they are learning to prepare devotions--which means they are also learning to apply God's Word to their lives! And third, it allows them to be in charge of something, which makes them feel good about themselves, plus it teaches them to be leaders.

I wish I could take the credit for this idea, but as with all my good ideas, this one came straight from God Himself!

But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all generously and without reproach, and it will be given to him.
--James 1:5

Posted by The Teacher at 03:42 PM