Time to Say, "Farewell"

After much discussion, prayer, and deliberation, my husband and I have come to the conclusion that our days of home schooling must come to an end. I have many mixed emotions about our decision. I have many concerns and I wonder if we are making the right decision. Yet in my heart, I know it is time.

We have begun the registration process with a local private Christian school, and hopefully we will have Zach and Jenna enrolled and set to go to school when the second semester begins in January. It's a small school with a good reputation. The staff is both professional and kind. It seems to be a good fit.

Amazingly, our children are excited about the change. Actually, Jenna is excited. Zach is "okay" with the idea of it--and I think he will warm up to it even more once he begins to feel "at home" there. (Interesting phraseology, huh.)

I could list all the reasons we decided to make this move, but as we are confident in our decision, there is really no point. Suffice it to say, however, that it was a difficult one to make, and came at the cost of much soul-searching.

As for HomeSchool U, I am sorry to see it go so quickly. I hope those of you who found encouragement in these pages will not be discouraged by our decision to put our children in an institutional school. Although our time of home schooling has ended, I remain convinced of the benefits of home schooling, and continue to advocate it as one of the most effective means of education for certain families. The decision to home school is a very personal and individual one. It is not for everyone. And it is not necessarily something that should be done throughout a child's education in every situation. In fact, I encourage regular evaluations for those families who home school. Evaluate your reason(s) for continuing. Evaluate how your children are doing--academically, emotionally, physically, and relationally. Evaluate how the primary "teacher" is doing. All these factors are important considerations. There is so much more to home schooling than how much work the students accomplish or how much information they learn.

So with that said, all that's left is to say, "Farewell." It's been fun! My best to you in your endeavors. Please pray for us in ours.

Sincerely yours,
Mary Comm
HomeSchool U

We Need Each Other

A couple is having marital problems...
A friend is battling cancer...
Another friend and her husband have both lost their jobs...
A single mother struggles with Lupus and the financial crisis of being unable to work...
A home school mom faces discouragement...

These stories are all real. This is life in 2003. Families are falling apart. Illnesses are rampant even among young people. Though the economy is gaining momentum, people are still facing unemployment issues. And yes, home schooling can certainly be discouraging at times.

The bottom line is that we need each other. None of us can be the Lone Ranger in this life. (Hey, even the Lone Ranger had Tonto and Silver!) We weren't created to "do" this life alone. How do I know this? Well, I've tried it, for starters. But even more compelling than that, God discloses our need for one another in the pages of His Word...

"Then Amalek came and fought against Israel at Rephidim. So Moses said to Joshua, "Choose men for us and go out, fight against Amalek. Tomorrow I will station myself on the top of the hill with the staff of God in my hand." Joshua did as Moses told him, and fought against Amalek; and Moses, Aaron, and Hur went up to the top of the hill. So it came about when Moses held his hand up, that Israel prevailed, and when he let his hand down, Amalek prevailed. But Moses' hands were heavy. Then they took a stone and put it under him, and he sat on it; and Aaron and Hur supported his hands, one on one side and one on the other. Thus his hands were steady until the sun set. So Joshua overwhelmed Amalek and his people with the edge of the sword." --Exodus 17: 8-13 (NASB)

Moses was sent by God to do a job. He was given the tools with which to do the job. Even so, he could not do it without the help and support of his friends. If Moses couldn't do it alone...well, you do the math! In my estimation of things, this is a crystal clear picture to us of how we are to be there for one another.

Paul heartily supports this theme as well, in Galatians 6:2, telling us that we are to :

"Bear one another's burdens, and thereby fulfill the law of Christ." (NASB)

I recently shared a burden I was carrying with a friend. The simple words she spoke to me ("I'm praying for...") was enough to lighten my load a bit. "They" say Two heads are better than one, but I say a burden shared is a load lightened. It's a phenomenon that defies explanation--how by sharing my burden with someone else, it instantly becomes easier to bear.... But that is just how things work when brothers and sisters in Christ "do life together." That's what being part of the body of Christ is all about [1 Corinthians 12:27].

So the next time the cares of this world (or the stresses of home schooling) begin to weigh you down, call upon a friend you can trust--a brother or sister in Christ--who will gladly bear the burden with you. Then stand back and watch in amazement as the load becomes lighter. The situation may not change at all, but the weight of it sure does get easier to bear when someone is there to help you carry it--and especially so if they help you carry it to the Throne of Grace. Then you'll be able to carry on with the job God sent you to do....

Happy Thanksgiving!

From our home school family to yours, may you have a blessed holiday, full of love, joy, and gratitude to our Father in heaven.

Thanks be to God for His indescribable gift!
2 Corinthians 9:15 (NIV)

Know the Requirements

It's important as we home school to know what our state's requirements are in regard to educating at home.

Since we live in Oklahoma, there are few requirements, thankfully! (Our's is the only state with a constitutional provision guaranteeing the right to home school!)We are required to fulfill 180 days of schooling with no requirements for teacher certification, inspections, or standardized testing. Required subjects are: reading, writing, math, science, citizenship, U.S. Constitution, health, safety, physical education, and conservation.

Of course, even with these limited requirements it is always a good idea not only to keep accurate attendance records, but also to keep sufficient records of subjects studied, test scores, and samples of each student's work. We keep all of each student's work throughout the year (filed by school term in large three-ring binders) just in case there is ever a question.

The Home School Legal Defense Association has a list of requirements for every state. They provide both a general synopsis of each state's requirements (in layman's terms) as well as a legal description of the state's laws regarding home schooling. If you don't know what your state's requirements are, visit their web site to find out.

Looking for a Ministry Opportunity?

Years ago I worked "in the ministry," meaning I was employed by a Christian ministry in the Dallas area. Then I had a child and left the ministry to be a stay-at-home mom. Then three years later I had another child. After the second child was born, I started an Internet ministry (SafeHaven Ministries) and for four years I juggled the kids, the house, the husband, the home schooling, and the online ministry. What I learned from that experience, was I really am not Wonder Woman! I couldn't do it all!

As a result I resigned from SafeHaven and handed it over to one of my volunteers, who has been running the site successfully for the past three years. (Thanks again, Carla!) Since that time, I have continued to look for a "ministry" in which to be involved. But everything I tried fell flat or flat-out failed, and I couldn't figure out why....

Then one day recently (I'm ashamed to say!), it finally occurred to me: home schooling my children is my ministry! It was one of those epiphanic moments where it seemed the clouds should part, the heavens should open wide, shining down a ray of brilliant light from above with a choir of angels singing the Hallelujiah chorus. Of course it wasn't that dramatic, but it I almost felt it should have been.

Once I realized that for this season of my life, this is my ministry, I was freed from the tiring search that had taken me nowhere. It was as though I could finally unpack my bags, settle into my home schooling routine, and relax. The search had ended, and as usual, the very thing for which I was looking was right under my nose the entire time!

How foolish we human beings can be sometimes! Always striving, always searching, always longing for that elusive "thing" that will bring us fulfillment, or significance, or joy. When all along if we would just open our hearts to the things God has brought us to--or brought to us!--we could save ourselves a lot of needless waste of time and energy.

I always fancied myself a pretty quick study, but the more I learn, the more I realize (in some areas, at least), I'm a slow-learner! But thankfully, eventually I catch on. Now when I consider the investment I'm making in the lives of two of the most wonderful people I know, I realize this is the best ministry of all!

"Hear, O Israel! The LORD is our God, the LORD is one! You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. These words, which I am commanding you today, shall be on your heart. You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up. You shall bind them as a sign on your hand and they shall be as frontals on your forehead. You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates." ~Deuteronomy 6:4-9

A Page From Our Photo Album - May, 2001

These photos were taken at the end of the school year, 2001. Zach had just completed 3rd grade, and Jenna had completed Kindergarten.

Jenna performing in her first
piano recital!

Zach showing off his AWANA award....

Jenna and Dad performed together at her
ballet recital in a "Daddy & Me Dance."

Zach had a solo in the children's musical at church.

The night Jenna was baptized....
Her Dad had the privilege of
doing the deed. It was very special!

Zach also performed in the piano recital.

Teacher or Parent?

The line between being the teacher and the parent often becomes blurred when one is home schooling. In our school, we study the basic courses that eveyone must study, especially during the elementary years, but we try to diminish the sense that we are "in school" while learning those skills. At the same time, we believe all of life is a learning experience, so we don't just "do school" while at home in the classroom. We may apply a lesson in the grocery store or in the car on the way to a friend's house, and often do.

As a result, we are faced with the challenge of defining our respective roles as well as tending to these vital, life-long relationships.

I suppose you could say that not only does the line between being the parent and the teacher become blurred in home schooling, but the line between life and school also becomes blurred.

Recognizing the challenge may be easy enough, but rectifying it is not.

While there are many variables involved in both roles, there is one element, however, that is essential to both: that essential element is respect. In fact, there are few roles or positions in life that do not recognize the need for respect. God commands it (in Psalm 34:9 and many other verses); Martin Luther King, Jr. died for it; Aretha Franklin demanded it; and women, gays, pro-lifers, and blacks have marched on Washington, D.C. to obtain it. Both the Declaration of Independence and the U.S. Constitution were set up in order to secure respect (among other things) both for our nation and for the individual rights of her citizens.

"We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness." --Declaration of Independence, July 4, 1776

So what does this have to do with our roles as teachers and parents? The answer is simple, though not entirely easy.... In order to command respect, we must be willing to freely give it. We must model the respect we desire to obtain. In order to cultivate respect, we must sow the seeds of respect.

What this means is that if we want our children to respect us as their parents and their teachers, we must respect them for who they are. Do we 'talk down' to our children? Do we bark out orders like a drill sargeant? Do we try to control their behavior, suppress their individuality, or demean them in any way? If we do, not only will they not respect us, but they will rebel against everything we stand for--our values, our morals, and our faith.

The question, therefore, is not nearly so focused upon our individual roles as parents and teachers, as it is about the virtues and behaviors we ourselves model to our children. If we are open to their ideas, ready to discuss things that matter to them, available to spend time with them, and show regard for their opinions, their feelings, and their likes and dislikes, they in turn will respond more respectfully toward us.

There's an old saying that goes like this: "People don't care how much you know until they know how much you care." We wouldn't be home schooling our children if we didn't care about them, but in the daily-ness of the must do's and should do's and have to's, do we take time out to talk with our children, to listen to them, and to respect their views, opinions, and the things that are important to them? If we haven't, now would be the perfect time to begin.

Home is no place for school?

I ran across a letter in USA Today last week titled, "Home is no place for school." The title interested me, as you can imagine.

The author of the letter, Dennis L. Evans, makes some very valid points. While I don't agree with all of them, I did find some to be quite accurate. For instance, he says "The popularity of home schooling...is attracting growing attention from the media." Okay. I can agree with that.

He also said "Good teaching is a complex act that involves more than simply loving children." Sure. I'll agree with that as well.

Additionally, he said, "Research on student achievement overwhelmingly supports the "common-sense" logic that the most important factor affecting student learning is teacher competency." With this statement he is bordering on extremism, but okay, I'll bite. Although I think it would be more accurate to say "one of the most important factors...is teacher competency."

Let's see. What else is there in his article I could support? Hmmm. I think that's it. The rest of his article constitutes a serious deficiency of facts concerning both home schooling as well as institutional schooling.

Mr. Evans suffers from several assumptions:

He seems to be under the assumption that home school teachers/parents believe that merely loving a child is education enough. Although a positive, loving environment where everyone gives and receives respect is most conducive to learning, there is much more that goes on in a home school. Likewise, the level of respect among peers and toward those in authority is generally seriously deficient in public schools.

He also seems to be assuming that home school parents are incapable of teaching higher level courses, and as such, are not giving their children an adequate education. Of all the home school parents I know, not one would sacrifice their children's education because they were not equipped or were ill-equipped to teach a particular topic. As a result, there are many home school co-op groups that share in the teaching of these higher-level courses. Likewise, there are always resources available that are more than adequate for teaching what parents are unable to facilitate. All the home school parents I know want the very best education for their children, and they are willing to make the commitment and the sacrifices necessary to reach that end. Public school teachers, on the other hand, have their "hands tied" in so many ways, even when it comes to ensuring each student they pass to the next grade level has adequately mastered the required skills.

Mr. Evans also seems to believe that home school parents isolate their children, hiding them under proverbial rocks, far away from outside social interaction. Nothing could be further from the truth! We, as home school parents, encourage our children to be involved in various outside activities in which they are placed in social situations both with other children their ages and with people of all ages. A partial list of our favorite social activities include, but are not limited to: piano lessons, Tang Soo Do (martial arts) lessons, ballet, tap and jazz lessons, children's choir, children's drama, youth group activities at church, hands-on ministry opportunities (like taking Valentines to a local nursing home and taking gifts to the children in state custody), not to mention normal church activities, and activities with other home school families. As a result, our children are well-rounded individuals who are capable of carrying on intelligent conversations with people of all ages and walks of life.

Likewise, Mr. Evans seems to view public or institutional education in an equally unrealistic manner. He states, very naively, that "Schools, particularly public schools, are the one place where 'all the children of all of the people come together.'" He continues, asking the question: "Can there be anything more important to each child and thus to our democratic society than to develop virtues and values such as respect for others, the ability to communicate and collaborate and an openness to diversity and new ideas?" I would ask Mr. Evans if he has been in a public school in the past 20 years? It seems to me the virtues and values that are learned in most public schools are, among other things, learning which kids are dangerous and how to stay away from them; learning, as a sixth grader, they are of less value simply because there are two grades of students above them in middle school; learning about all the cliques and knowing their place (or social standing) in relation to these cliques, etc. Likewise, many public schools (at the encouragement of the NEA) have taken upon themselves the responsibility of teaching children moral issues such as the acceptability of homosexuality as a lifestyle (via books like "It's Perfectly Normal" by Robie Harris), while also teaching them that a fetus is a blob of tissue, that abortion is an acceptable method of birth control, or that condoms and birth control pills are effective means of birth control and can be readily obtained without their parents' knowledge or consent. This practice likewise teaches children not only to disregard their parents' authority, beliefs, and morals, but how to bypass them. Meanwhile, many students are graduating public high schools without knowing how to think for themselves, and reports show that an alarming number are illiterate!

Another question for Mr. Evans might be, "When in life are we ever segregated with others of our same age except in institutional schools?" Further, isn't the only reason children in public schools are segregated by age because that is what is easiest for the school? Were it truly an effective institution, children would be placed in classes according to their academic level not their birthdate.

And finally, if memory serves me well, in an institutional school it is the teacher that teaches the lesson and assigns the homework, but isn't it the parent who then assists the student with that same homework at the end of the day? I seem to remember plenty of times when my parents did just that--even once I got into the high school years!

I would invite Mr. Evans to investigate more thoroughly that which he condemns. I would invite him to attend the next National Spelling Bee, which has been won several years by home schooled children. I would invite him to observe home schooled children both within their families and within social situations.

I have to admit it has been my experience that home schooled children do indeed stand out when mixed with students who are institutionally schooled. Home schooled children are the ones who are recognized as being well behaved, polite, respectful, and pleasant to have around. They are generally well liked by their peers, make friendships easily, and are appreciated by other adults. Further, home schooled students have, over the years, tested higher on standardized tests than their peers from public schools.

The truth of the matter is that no school is perfect! Whether an institutional school or a home school, whether the class has twenty students or two, there will be problems and draw-backs. However, it has been my experience that our students do better both academically and socially as a result of being schooled at home.

Another significant difference between Mr. Evans and myself is that while I would never tell someone else in what school environment they should place their children, he would not hesitate to do so. It is this behavior, perhaps, that disturbs me the most: when one person--an educated one at that!--determines what is best for my children; children he has never met, much less assessed.

The proof, as they say, is in the pudding, and I'm afraid Mr. Evans has proven the point that institutional education is sorely lacking. Not only is he a product of it, but he is also apparently in the business of perpetuating it. Too bad he didn't do his homework!

Posted by The Teacher at 02:05 PM | Your Comments (2)

9/11 - Second Anniversary

I can't help but pause today to remember September 11, 2001. It's been two years, and still the sights and sounds are haunting. Recent newspaper stories made everything fresh again as they reported some of the emergency calls recorded that morning by the Port Authority.

It's still hard to believe this really happened.... And so much has happened since. I pray for all those for whom today is a painful memorial. I pray for the leaders of our country. And I pray for the greatest country on earth...the United States of America. Because God has blessed America, may we bless Him in return.

*America Bless God!

[*Click on this link to hear the song our worship pastor wrote by this title. The song file is located at the bottom of the page on this link.]

Our Students

Our son, Zach, is a gifted child who has excelled in reading, science, geography and math. It is our privilege to guide him in his studies in a manner that is both challenging and affirming. Zach is a self-motivated learner, with a strong hunger for knowledge. Our goal is to provide an atmosphere in which he has the tools required to both satisfy this hunger and stimulate his mind toward further growth.

Zach is a very social child with strong leadership tendencies. Although he is one of only two students within our school, he is regularly involved in outside activities with other children his age, not limited to sports activities, children's choir, music lessons and biblical studies.

Jenna is an average learner (though incredibly sharp in her own ways!) and is on target for her age. She has a shorter attention span and thus needs the special attention available to her through one-on-one tutoring. She is a reserved child in social situations and is encouraged to flourish more readily in the home school environment. Concurrently, she is also active in various outside activities in which she is expected to expand her natural social capabilities while interacting with her peers. Likewise, she is regularly involved in dance lessons, music lessons, children's choir and biblical studies with other children her age.

Our Philosophy

Our philosophy toward learning is that:

Learning takes place when the child's heart is engaged as well as his mind.

Learning is not a burden, but a joy and a privilege. While the end goal is non-negotiable, the method of reaching that goal is individualized according to the interests and learning styles of the student.

Once the foundations are laid (reading, writing, arithmetic), there are no limitations to what or how much a child can learn as long as the love of learning is fostered, protected, stimulated and encouraged.

Life is itself an exercise in learning and education.

A child who is taught how to learn, to think independently, to decipher and to discern will become an adult who never stops learning and bettering him/herself.

The most critical "subjects" learned are those pertaining to self-discipline, self-control, respect for and service to others, civic responsibility, and high moral character.

Posted by The Teacher at 11:11 PM

How Our Home School Operates

We do not 'grade' our children per se, but we do evaluate their work, allowing them the learning experience of correcting errors and discovering better ways of completing their projects. Their work is completed in written expression (on paper and on the dry erase board) and through verbal/oral expression. They are encouraged to 'think outside the box' and to use all the resources available to them to accomplish their goals. We have as central themes in our school the importance of life skills, people skills, teamwork, and family unity.

We operate on a 180-day "formal" school term beginning in August (usually) and ending in May or June. We continue informal learning through the summer months.

The students are encouraged to practice musical skills at least five days a week, and to be physically active as often as possible. Television/video learning is at a minimum while hands-on learning is encouraged. Character training and biblical studies are a daily focus.

We use a variety of curricula and resources, but the main curriculum source this year will be Sonlight Curriculum, which is a history-based curriculum. We will be supplementing the history study with Sonlight’s language arts and science curriculum. We will continue to use Saxon Math this year.

We implement field trips as often as possible, giving our students the opportunity to experience learning in real life and real historical situations. Travel is an integral part of our learning experience. To date we have traveled to: Colorado, New Mexico, Florida, Virginia, Texas, Arkansas, Kansas, Illinois, California, Jamaica, Mexico, and the western Caribbean, as well as exploring our own state of Oklahoma. This year we are planning a month-long driving trip to the East Coast and the South, visiting historical and cultural sights along the way.

Oklahoma Law

We operate our school in accordance with Oklahoma State laws pertaining to home schools.

Welcome!

Welcome to HomeSchool "U" -- (short for university) -- because teaching school at home is an ongoing learning experience!

We have been a home school family since 1997. Even though this is our seventh year of home schooling my husband, Joel, and I are still learning! Every year brings with it new challenges. Each child, as he/she grows, adds a different dimension to our home school and to our family life. When we started on this journey, our oldest child, Zach, was five years old, and our daughter, Jenna, was only three. Back then, school was a lot easier in terms of what we studied and how we studied. Now, with Zach in sixth grade and Jenna in third grade, things have changed drastically. We don't use "alphabears" to spell words anymore, and we don't read boardbooks anymore. We don't use playdough and paint. Now we're using the Internet and reading books with 200+ pages and words like "bourgeways." (For a more indepth look at our home school history, click on the category by that title.)

Ah yes, and the simplicity of children without raging hormones is quickly becoming more scarce as well, since Zach is on the cusp of adolescence.

So, as we continue to learn about the unique lifestyle of home schooling, we are excited to share our newfound knowledge, hints, and tips with you. Hopefully our journey will encourage you on yours.

So welcome to HomeSchool "U"! Please visit often!

Mary Comm
Wife, Mom, Teacher, Daughter, Sister,
Neighbor, Friend, and Child of the King

Train up a child in the way he should go,
Even when he is old he will not depart from it.
--Proverbs 22:6