April 20, 2004
Things I Wish I'd Done Differently
Although we're no longer home schooling, I have been thinking about the things I would've done differently. The statement that hindsight is 20/20 is often true, so I'm hoping that by sharing some of the pitfalls we've faced related to home schooling and integration into the private school spectrum our hindsight can be helpful to some of you out there.
#1: I wish I had made sure my children got to play with their friends more often.
Friendships are so important to children during all phases of childhood. I always downplayed the socialization aspect of home schooling, insisting that our children were well-rounded individuals because of the wide array of socialization avenues in which they participated: our immediate family; our extended family; our church 'family'; and a (very) few select friends. But in reality, our children were lonely. They longed for and needed more time with children their ages, peers with whom they could relate, bond, and learn to get along with, as well as to learn to stand up for themselves, to choose friends wisely, and to practice dealing with peer-related issues.
While church activities provided regular opportunities for them to be with larger groups of their peers, they found it difficult to 'fit in' even with this 'select' group of supposedly 'safe' children. (Note: There is no such thing, I think, as 'safe' influences. Our son experienced bullying even at our church....)
Having been in a private Christian school since January, they have had daily exposure to other children--some of whom are like them in many ways; some of whom are cruel and awful and worldly. While our daughter has developed a tight bond with a girl at school, she is having to learn the hard way that other kids aren't always good influences. (One particular girl has led our daughter astray a few times.) Which leads me to another regret... (See #2.)
Our son has had a more difficult time finding a kindred spirit in his class. He is a really smart kid, not the athletic type at all, and very innocent to the ways of the world--which was one of our goals in home schooling. As a result, he has stood out like the proverbial sore thumb this semester, and it has been difficult for him. One really wonderful thing about our son, however, is that he knows who he is, and while he hates the way he is treated at school, he values his identity.
#2: I wish we had prepared our children better for making wise choices, not following the crowd, but doing what's right even if it's unpopular.
While I felt that we covered this topic on many occasions, apparently we were not thorough enough. (Can one ever be thorough enough where this topic is concerned?)
#3: I wish we had prepared our children better where the ways of the world are concerned.
Keeping our children innocent was a worthy goal. This world in which we live is ugly and awful on so many levels, and we wanted to protect our children from those horrors at least through their elementary years. But having put them in institutional school as we've done, was a bit like throwing them to the wolves--even in a Christian school.
I am convinced the very best environment for our children to learn about things like sex, homosexuality, abortion, racism, drug use/abuse, etc., is at home with Mom and Dad. They also need to learn the slang terms that are prevalent in popular culture, which means that we, as parents, may need to be more aware of what's going on in pop culture! It's certainly not an easy task, but what is easy about raising kids in today's world?
#4: Finally, I wish I had been a better role model for my children.
This topic encompasses every aspect of life: self-discipline; self-motivation; purity of heart; devotion to God and to others; honor; respect for self; respect for others; respect for authorities and elders; respect for personal and public property; and the list goes on.
In actuality, the transition from home schooling to private school has been relatively smooth. I believe better preparation would have helped our children to make this adjustment more easily, but they have been troopers and I am very proud of them.
In the final analysis, nothing is perfect. Home schooling isn't perfect, and private and public schools certainly aren't perfect. Life is indeed the classroom in which our children learn and grow and mature. The one unchanging facet of life, in whatever realm we find ourselves, is our God. He is the same yesterday, today, and tomorrow, and it is upon Him that we must depend. That is the greatest lesson we can teach our children, and one that must be taught on a continual basis. God loves them. He watches over them. He has a purpose for them. He is the Rock upon which they must stand all the days of their life--wherever life may take them.
Posted by at April 20, 2004 09:11 AM
| 
Comments
I am sitting here trying to gather the flood of emotions and thoughts concerning my children. In regards to your "Things I Wish I'd Done Differently". No parents are perfect, we cannot protect our children from all of the world. Our kids will be hurt, scarred for life, troubled, frightened and feel the deepest pains in which God has to offer. Just like all the Moms and Dads have done through their life. As much as it hurts us, it will happen. And our children will grow and become wise from these lessons. Hopefully, preventing a tragic decision later. I believe the greatest thing that can be taught is "lessons learned". Learning from our own mistakes and being able to truely learn from others mistakes, so that you might not make them yourself. A child will never fully understand this until they, themselves have experienced it. A wise old man sitting on his porch, enjoying all the inputs from around him, has learned that the cars honking and sirens blaring can be ignored. While the birds chirping and the smells of fall or spring should be embraced. What are the lessons our elders have tried to teach us and why. From my experience, it all boils down to enjoying the small moments of pleasure, rather than agonizing over the toothaches of life. Making the right, and probably hard choice can only be extracted from experience. To try and pass down the lessons-learned from every experience, mixed with any situation, will be futile. The hindsight of 20/20 is a grand notion, but considering the "big" decisions...20/20 will never apply.
Final thought ------
Trust in God. He's thought it all through, just for use. All we have to do is listen.
Posted by: Nate | June 14, 2006 04:47 AM