Keeping Perspective

It's true that being a parent is one of the toughest jobs on earth. Add to that the responsibilities that go along with home schooling and, well, you've multiplied those responsibities. While it's certainly tough to be both mom and teacher, it is equally easy to be critical of ourselves when we've had a rough day or when things didn't turn out as we had hoped. Sometimes it seems too hard. Sometimes the cost just seems too high....

I ran across some more home school conference notes today, and what I found was a good reminder to take seriously the task of home schooling, but likewise, not to be too critical of myself in the process. Following are some of the key notes that struck a chord with me:

At the end of the day, ask yourself: (1) Did I take time with the Lord today?, and (2) Did I put people before things today? Note: If all my "ducks are in a row," I may have neglected the important for the temporal.

Jesus did not heal everyone. He did not change every life. But He completed the tasks He set out to accomplish. He was in tune with the Father and did only what He was assigned to do. Note: If I am overwhelmed with the tasks on my agenda, it is probably a sign I am taking on more than God intended....

It is not an accident that we are living in this time in history. Like Esther, God has called each of us to "this place" (home schooling) to prepare our children for the future, and by doing so, to affect generations to come. Note: Consider that God has placed us here, "for such a time as this."

Our tempation, when we look at the world around us, is to become fearful or anxious. But we are called to "mother" by faith, not fear. Sure, there are going to be some gaps in what we teach our kids. That is true of every school. And yes, we certainly seem to have a higher standard with which to live up to. But all things considered, all the days of our lives--and the lives of our children--were ordained before one of them came to be. So when we're tempted to be terrified, we must instead, trust.... Note: Trust God to order your steps. Trust God with the lives of your children.

At the end of the day, after all the lessons have been taught and the school work is completed; after the dinner dishes have been washed and the house has settled into that quiet resolve once the kids are in bed, take a moment to look for the ways God worked in your life and in the lives of your children today. While we must count the cost of this commitment, we must also not forget to count the blessings as well.

[Notes taken from the Wholehearted Mothers Conference, February 1999. The speaker was Jean Fleming, author of A Mother's Heart.]

Posted by The Teacher at 09:49 PM

The Significance of a Simple Declaration

Yesterday my daughter, Jenna, came to me with a letter she had received in her (home-made) mailbox in the schoolroom from her dad. Penmanship was never one of his strong suits, so she was having a hard time reading it. She asked if I would read it to her. Of course I said yes.

It wasn't particularly witty. It wasn't written with much artistic flare. The grammar and spelling were more or less correct. But none of that mattered because this was a love letter from a Daddy to his only little girl.

The letter spoke of how much this Dad loved his daughter; how special she was to him. In it he listed several things specifically that he loved about her... Her wonderful sense of humor; her ability to enjoy life so fully; and the sweetness of her smile.

At the end of the letter, Dad had drawn a picture of a long-time family friend (of the stuffed kind) and another simple declaration of his love for Jenna.

As I finished reading the letter, I pulled Jenna close and told her I had to agree with everything Dad had written. I told her she was the best little girl in the whole wide world and I was so blessed to have her in my life.

Her little face beamed with joy at the words of her dad and the solid agreement of her mom.

The interesting thing is, the rest of the day this ordinarily ornery little girl was an absolute angel. And just before bedtime she invited Dad to read with her. When Dad told her to get a book, that he would be with her in a few minutes, she asked, "Is it okay if I just sit here with you while I wait?" It was enough just to be near him.

Both her dad and I were astounded by the signficant difference this simple declaration of love made in Jenna. I hope it's not a reminder we will soon forget.

"But now faith, hope, love, abide these three;
but the greatest of these is love. "
~1 Corinthians 13:13

What it Means to Be a Friend

[Wednesday night, 9/17/03]

There's nothing like an afternoon spent in an emergency room to bring things into perspective.

As usual, it started with a phone call, and ended with a hospital room. A friend was in trouble today and she turned to me for help. I had other things on my agenda for the afternoon, but suddenly those things didn't seem all that important.

Did I want to spend my day in an emergency room? No, but I went anyway. On the way to pick her up I prayed for her. I prayed that God would minister to her through me. I prayed He would give me the words to say and discernment to know when to speak and what questions to ask.

She told me I could leave once I dropped her off, but I knew I couldn't leave her. She was alone, and after all, I am her friend.

So while we waited and waited and waited some more, we talked. We talked about her trouble; we talked about her children; we talked about her (deceased) mother that she misses so terribly--especially on days like today. We even managed to laugh every now and then, in spite of the sadness surrounding her; in spite of the trouble that brought her there.

So what did I learn? It's not always easy to be a true friend, but it certainly is worth it. Did I help her today? Well, I certainly didn't "fix" her trouble, but I did what I could: I sat with her. I talked with her. I even laughed with her. I hugged her. And I let her cry.... And when I left tonight, she thanked me. I didn't do much of anything really, but it was all I could do and it was all she needed--just a friend willing to be there.

And at the end of a day like today I can honestly say:

The LORD is my strength and my shield; my heart trusts in him, and I am helped. My heart leaps for joy and I will give thanks to him in song. ~Psalm 28:7

All Work and No Play...

[Actually, I learned this a few days ago, but we won't be legalistic about it!]

What I learned is this:

Playtime with my kids is every bit as important as school time.

Sounds like a simple concept, doesn't it? And you would think it would be something I would've learned a long time ago, but some of us are s-l-o-w learners!

It was a very simple thing indeed...brought about as a result of setting aside special time with my husband. I had made a sign that read: "Welcome to Mary's Bed & Breakfast. Relax, kick off your shoes, and enjoy a lovely evening..."

I had attached it to the bathroom door while my husband was showering one night recently. (We had spent the past few months redecorating our bedroom, making it a warm, comfortable haven just for us grown-ups!)

Well, our son, Zach, happened to see the sign that night as he went to bed...and an idea was born in his head as he drifted off to sleep....

The next day, he and Jenna had a wonderful surprise for me. They had set up his bedroom as a "retreat center" just for me! He and Jenna donned their finest clothing, created a menu of goodies from which I could choose, and laid out blankets and pillows in the cubby underneath his raised bunkbed. They had also poured me a glass of cold water, using a pretty goblet they knew I enjoyed drinking from. They asked what I would like off the menu and promptly retrieved it, serving it with all the style an eleven- and an eight-year old could muster!

It was very sweet!

Then, they gave me the options of what we could do... There was a pile of games to play, some books to read, or we could just relax and enjoy one another's company while the sweet melodies of "Sleep Sound in Jesus" played on the cd player.

Okay, so it wasn't heaven, but it was awfully close!

The truth is I almost missed this wonderful time with my children. You see, I was busy working on something "important", and I had seen them running around the house in their Sunday best--which was definitely a no-no. I was just about to get onto them when I discovered what they were doing. Had I "leapt" before I "looked" (as I often do!) I would have missed it. I would've barked; they would've had hurt feelings, and we all would've missed out.

By the grace of God, this time we didn't miss out! And I learned how precious playtime with my children can be--even after a long day of school work, and even when there are "important" matters to be tended to.

Since then, we've had similar playtime together several times. Each time I've had to remind myself how important this is--in the beginning. But once I've pulled myself away from the chores and tasks at hand, I realize how much we enjoy spending this "retreat" time with each other.

Some lessons are slow in coming, but when they come, they are so good!

"Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow." --James 1:17

Thanks, Dad!